IDENTITY STATUS • Face: Classified • Access: Restricted • Presence: Confirmed PRIMARY OBJECTIVES • Reduce household entropy • Restore baseline functionality • Investigate recurring dish phenomena PUBLIC NOTICE Routine home maintenance should not be interpreted as: • Courtship behaviour • Traditional gender role compliance • Evidence of having one’s life together INSTALLED MODULES ✓ Tea Production ✓ Existing Indoors ✓ Horizontal Recovery UNAVAILABLE MODULES ✕ Domestic Goddess ✕ Martha Stewart Upgrade ✕ Perfect Adult Expansion Pack ✕ Unlimited Motivation Patch UNEXPECTED RESULTS • Clean dishes detected • Laundry contained • Temporary illusion of competence achieved ONGOING INVESTIGATION Dish regeneration continues despite repeated interventions. Cause remains unknown. Research ongoing. CURRENT STATUS Operational. Mostly.